I was at the ocean with two men who represented J and one of his brothers. It was a beautiful, warm day. There were mountains on the horizon and the sky was many colors. I sat on the beach and watched the men swim out to a rock that looked far away. They started waving their hands at me and yelling something. At first, I thought they were telling me to come into the water, but then I realized that they were signaling for help. I ran over to a lifeguard stand. There was a man in a dark grey, pinstripe suit sitting there very casually. He exuded coolness and calm. I told him that they were in trouble but he seemed to sense no urgency and continued to make small talk with other people nearby. After a few more attempts at getting his attention, he finally seemed to get the message, feel my panic, and jump into action. He sprinted towards the water and jumped into the ocean. He was also instantly wearing swim trunks. I ran after him and somehow managed to jump into the water before him and start swimming to the rock. Given the distance, I was surprised to make it there in only a few strokes. I was swimming with my head entirely underwater and was moving as quickly as I could while trying to maintain awareness of the rock approaching so that I didn't hit my head. I soon saw/felt the shadow of it getting closer and J's brother reached into the water and gently lifted my head out of the water before I crashed. The gesture was very gentle and loving. I hoisted my body onto the rock and realized that the men weren't actually in trouble and that I had misunderstood their signal. I said something about the lifeguard approaching and grew nervous that he would think we had pranked him and we'd be in trouble. Both men simultaneously jumped into the water and started swimming towards the shore. I knew that they would intervene and explain the misunderstanding and that they were having fun. It put my mind at ease.
The scene changed and I was swimming, far away from any shore, with a group of people. There was a blonde man with us who, I think, represented J. We were trying to reach something. Without warning, a gigantic whale jumped out of the water. It was so close to J that I thought it would crush him when it landed but it narrowly missed him. I turned around in the water and started swimming back to shore, filled with awe at what we had just seen.
Later, I was sitting on the beach by myself again and was aware that there were many other people on the beach with me and everyone was extremely peaceful. I looked behind me and saw a couple in their late 40s or early 50s sitting behind me. They both had their eyes closed and looked content and radiant. She had a long, grey braid and crinkly eyes and they both looked younger than their ages. The man opened his eyes and began playing some sort of wind instrument. The woman watched him lovingly. I turned my attention back to the water and watched the waves and sky. I noticed a little wisp of grey smoke on the horizon, that curled around and then vanished. It suddenly filled me with sadness about losing my mother someday. I thought about our lives being as ephemeral as curls of smoke, especially compared to the size and age of the ocean. This feeling washed over me and urged me to fully connect and engage with the people in my life.
Next, I was walking with a small group of people on a trail in some thick, moist woods at dusk. I kept stopping to pick something of mine that I continually dropped on the trail. At one point, I climbed down into a little gulch to retrieve that something again (it was never fully materialized but I think it was blue). The members of the group teased me for going off the path but J was with us and smiled at me. I instantly felt accepted and given the freedom to take my time.
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